By Soumitra Bos$/Muke$H Kumar $Inha
Aye Hamare Madam ZohraJabeen,
Aapko Maalum Nahi,
Aap Abhi Tak Hain Netree aur Hum Sewadar,
Aap-pe Qurban Hamari Jaan,
Aye Hamare Madam ZohraJabeen;
Ye (Hame Leadership Dene Ka) Shokhiyan, Ye (Congress President Wali) Baankpan,
Jo Aap Mein Hai Kahi/Kisi-pe Nahi,
Congresseeon Ko Jeetne ka Fan, Jo Aap Mein Hai Kahin Nahi,
Hum Aapke/Aapki Netreetwa Mein Paa Gaye Do Jahan,
Aye Madam Hamare ZohraJabeen.
{Zohra in Urdu for Venus, the Planet. It’s a morning star also a Goddess of love and beauty in Roman Mythology; ZohraJabeen means a person with a forehead (implying a face) that reflects the beauty of Zohra/Venus inspiring inspiration, instilling courage, deepening hope, fulfilling aspirations, sincerely egging to accomplish tasks}.
In vociferous discordant, crass, rough, disunited vagabondish chorus are singing desperate (out of utmost compulsion, or else, inveterate/congenital couldn’t-care-less/least-for-you-U-who specialists) Veerappa Moily (God! What a veer-ya he is), Mohsina Kidwai, A K Antony (in lungi in -40 degrees in Siachen thus, imagine how (in)effective he is as Union Minister), Kapil Sibbal (not weirdo sure, Stephanian every bit), Mani Shankar Aiyar (single-man demolition squad to Congress, Congress High Command coupled with frequent weird-cum-voodoo-cum-crazy-cum-funky-cum-cranky statements reminding listeners of lunatics, sarfera, sateeaa gaya), Ahmed Patel (biggest joke of the Congress since it was founded in 1885 despite being Political Advisor to All India Congress President; he lost Rajya Sabha election by ½ vote, remained defeated MP for more than a decade ever since he lost election in 1989), P Chidambaram (not fully), Kanti Lal Bhuriya (sheer liability; not a bit more), Deepa Das Mushi (not Cleopatra sure but she thinks she is no less than that, she is the real Prime Donna of the All India Congress Committee), Somen Mitra (peculiar Joker Extraordinaire), Shanti Pahadia, Janardan Dwivedi (self- tom-tomed Sonia Gandhi-closest+ordering {his preys: all big and sundry partymen all through the country} like “Don Corleone”-cum-Adolf Hitler-cum-Mussolini-cum-Che Guevra-cum-Rasputin in the name of Sonia Gandhi), Jagannath Pahadia (By Jove! God Bless Us All from His labyrinthine clutches), Ajit Jogi (if firebrand as IAS officer, sheer liability + Congress-shatterer), Renu Jogi (astutely talented but wife of Ajit Jogi…hence…), Sajjan Kumar (real image-shatterer/credibility-kiler/credulousness-remover, liability-personified, go-
odwill-expunger), C P Joshi (verbose, garrulous, voluble personified), Irshad Beg Mirza (he who?), Amarjeet Kaur (she’s back in Congress again after Akali Dal stint preceded by Congress stint preceded by Akali Dal stint preceded by Congress stint…), Subodh Kant Sahay (soft-cum-sweet-cum-self-serving Socialist), Hemant Viswa Sarma (unknown), P J Kurien (enough womanly scandals in cupboard like hidden skeletons), Jai Prakash Agarwal (good-for-what, only he knows), Elangovan (Big Shot, Dravida face of Congress), V Narayansamy (Himself from Pondicherry, its world renowned Holy Mother’s globally self-publicised follower, no one knows about, no one’s heard about her), Hans Raj Bhardwaj (his role then, now?), K P Singh Deo (dilly-dallying ding-dong like Prince Charming between Sonia Gandhi and Mamata Banerjee as if both are of same status), Harvendra Singh Hanspal (Namdhari personified), Surinder Singhla+innumerable other such Congress-spoiling-entities-publicising-themselves-to-be-saviours-of-Congress-like-Sushil Kumar Shinde, Bhisham Narain Singh, Mohsina Kidwai, Janardhana Poojary (they refuse to breathe last).
{But Mademoiselle Extraordinaire, Madame Sonia G(andhi) remains unperturbed, unmoved, silent, hiccup-less, belch-free, reaction-free, unattentive, uncaring, for all these “adulations”, “praises”, “slicking”, “chamchagiri”, “wagging tail/s” because she is fully, convincingly aware that they are doing so merely because they are waiting to be dragged into labyrinthine dragnet of “no return”. Their very relevance is over, passé. Newest, slightly grown-up, quite-mature, to-be-settled, settling, to-be-fully-settled, independent generations detest them.
Their relevance is over, passé, anachronous, incongruous, say their opponents in the Congress who now under the leadership of the Congress Vice-President Rahul Gandhi immediately want to be in the “Actual Congress” with him as All India President. Apparently, they are keen to fathom Rahul Gandhi to the fullest so that they can inform the countrymen about the date on which the new Congress will be formed that indeed will be for the countrymen of all hues, of the countrymen of all hues, for the countrymen of all hues. It is then that Rahul Gandhi will stretch himself to the fullest in the whole country and will openly display his prowess as Leader, for all countrymen. It is now due any moment.
His national, statewise, citywise, districtwise, villagewise, hamletwise cadres, members, leaders, office bearers all through the country and upto its all nooks and corners are all ready, set to mingle with the countrymen addressing their all issues, sorting them out to the fullest.
At the time of writing, Rahul Gandhi is in VanaVas. Forlorn, alone, singularly He is doing manthan, chintan manan, acquiring veestreet oopalabdhee, baareek veesleshan, making next 30 year road map+blue print+priorities+immediately urgent duties to take up the biggest role(?) for himself now (because it has been repeatedly known/proved that ‘it is now or never’ and so ‘don’t waste time; strike the rod when it’s hot like now’).
“RG” (current sobriquet for Rahul Gandhi) is single-mindedly concentrating to adhere to RajDharma of Chanakya. His favorites are :THE KING:[An ideal king is one who has the highest qualities of leadership, intellect, energy and personal attributes.]
The qualities of leadership (which attract followers) are: birth in a noble family, good fortune, intellect and prowess, association with elders, being righteous, truthful, resolute, enthusiastic and disciplined, not breaking his promises, showing gratitude [to those who help him], having lofty aims, not being dilatory, being stronger than neighbouring kings and having ministers of high quality.
The qualities of intellect are: desire to learn, listening [to others], grasping, retaining, understanding thoroughly and reflecting on knowledge, rejecting false views and adhering to the true ones.
An energetic king is one who is valorous, determined, quick and dexterous.
As regards personal attributes, an ideal king should beeloquent, bold and endowed with a sharp intellect, a strong memory and a keen mind. He should beamenable to guidance.
He should be well trained in all the arts and be able to lead the army.
He should be just in rewarding and punishing. He should have the foresight to avail himself of the opportunities (by choosing) the right time, place and type of action.
He should know how to govern in normal times and in times of crisis. He should know when to fight and when to make peace, when to lie in wait, when to observe treaties and when to strike at an enemy’s weakness. He should preserve his dignity at all times and not laugh in an undignified manner. He should be sweet in speech, look straight at people and avoid frowning. He should eschew passion, anger, greed, obstinacy, fickleness and backbiting. He should conduct himself in accordance with the advice of elders.
COUNCILLORS AND MINISTERS : A councillor or minister of the highest rank should be a native of the state, born in a high family and controllable [by the king]. He should have been trained in all the arts and have logical ability to foresee things. He should beintelligent, persevering, dexterous, eloquent, energetic, bold, brave, able to endure adversities and firm in loyalty. He should neither be haughty nor fickle. He should be amicable and not excite hatred or enmity in others.
[The king should appoint advisers in different grades of the hierarchy, depending on how many of the qualities described above they possess].
Those who have all the qualities are to be appointed to the highest grade (as Councillors), those who lack a quarter to the middle grades and those who lack a half to the lowest grades.
It is now, predict/foretell/analyse Kashi Pandits, towing “RG”, any moment when he will announce New Congress packed with his contemporaries+ : Pradip Jain Aditya, Jitinder Prasada, Jyotiraditya Scindia, Jyoti Mirdha, Sandeep Dikshit, Lotika Diksheet, Priya Dutt, Abhishek Bachchan, Sachin Piot, Aishwarya Bachchan, Namrata Dutt, Nadira Babbar, Sandip Ray etc, etc….upto ‘n’th number/level.
Meanwhile, anti-RG+pro-SG (Sonia Gandhi) continue to shout hoarse : “Aapke Meethe Bol Madam Hamare, Jo Muskaraake Bol Den, To Hamare Dhadkano Mein Aaj/Abhee Bhee, Congressee Rang Ghol De, Oh Madam, Oh Madame, Hum Aapke, Aap Eh Hamare ZohraJabeen.”
Sonia G now seriously wonders, say her confidantes, if she’s really their ZohraJabeen, how come they effected her “drown” via Congress’ drown/shrink/defeat/near-extinction/mass-unpopularity/mass-defeat/mass-antipathy/mass-apathy. Do they have any answer to that? Naturaly no. Because they are self-seekers, ruthlessly individualistic, cocooned, least bothered about the Congress. QED